I feel so torn between looking forward to Fall and being upset that summer has come and gone so quickly. I absolutely love sunshine! It makes me so happy! I sometimes wonder if I have that seasonal disorder where winter brings on a slight bought of depression because of a lack of contact with sun. I used to get like that in Rexburg, Idaho where sometimes I look back and think it's a wonder I didn't freeze to death. For "therapy" I would go to the tanning bed, and surprisingly, it worked like a charm. Maybe I was just thrilled about my new tan! But Fall brings back so many memories through so many senses and it just warms the soul to think about it: red, orange, yellow, brown, pumpkins, spices, darling autumn decor, jeans, boots, cute sweaters that seem like new because they've been packed away for a few months, fun/scary Halloween stuff, crisp cool air, football games, state fairs, the beginning of a new school year and all the excitement that comes with it (new clothes, new classes, new roommates, new dates, new fun). {sigh} I secretly wish that I was 20 and single again. not that I don't love being married! ...but I had so much fun at BYU-Idaho that I wish I could do it all over again. Instead, I sit here at the age of 25 realizing that those fun, youthful days are slipping through my fingers as the biological timeclock ticks on. Where does life go from here? I realize that I can't always live in my early twenties as a college student, and that we enter into different phases of our life. I guess it just seems like we're stuck in that newlywed phase that we're not even technically in any more. I think after two years you can legitimately claim yourselves no longer newlyweds. So for the past two years we've just been stuck in the middle...We're in between phases. Moving from young adult newlyweds to legitimate married adults... Except for I thought I would have children by this point. I love the song that is currently playing on my playlist. She's saying that she's stuck in the middle and she's trying to figure things out, but that she's just got to "let it go and enjoy the show." But then, if you listen at the end, she starts singing, "I want my money back!" That just cracks me up! I'm sure we all have moments where we feel like that. For the most part, when I stop and think about it, I've really enjoyed "my show," even the tragic scenes, because they make the happy endings seem that much sweeter. So, I'm gonna kick back and enjoy awaiting the Autumn season, because that's when I first started dating my sweet Spencer, and then a year later I married him on November 27, 2004. Yep, Fall will be good.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Stuck in the Middle
So long, Summer... {sniff}
I feel so torn between looking forward to Fall and being upset that summer has come and gone so quickly. I absolutely love sunshine! It makes me so happy! I sometimes wonder if I have that seasonal disorder where winter brings on a slight bought of depression because of a lack of contact with sun. I used to get like that in Rexburg, Idaho where sometimes I look back and think it's a wonder I didn't freeze to death. For "therapy" I would go to the tanning bed, and surprisingly, it worked like a charm. Maybe I was just thrilled about my new tan! But Fall brings back so many memories through so many senses and it just warms the soul to think about it: red, orange, yellow, brown, pumpkins, spices, darling autumn decor, jeans, boots, cute sweaters that seem like new because they've been packed away for a few months, fun/scary Halloween stuff, crisp cool air, football games, state fairs, the beginning of a new school year and all the excitement that comes with it (new clothes, new classes, new roommates, new dates, new fun). {sigh} I secretly wish that I was 20 and single again. not that I don't love being married! ...but I had so much fun at BYU-Idaho that I wish I could do it all over again. Instead, I sit here at the age of 25 realizing that those fun, youthful days are slipping through my fingers as the biological timeclock ticks on. Where does life go from here? I realize that I can't always live in my early twenties as a college student, and that we enter into different phases of our life. I guess it just seems like we're stuck in that newlywed phase that we're not even technically in any more. I think after two years you can legitimately claim yourselves no longer newlyweds. So for the past two years we've just been stuck in the middle...We're in between phases. Moving from young adult newlyweds to legitimate married adults... Except for I thought I would have children by this point. I love the song that is currently playing on my playlist. She's saying that she's stuck in the middle and she's trying to figure things out, but that she's just got to "let it go and enjoy the show." But then, if you listen at the end, she starts singing, "I want my money back!" That just cracks me up! I'm sure we all have moments where we feel like that. For the most part, when I stop and think about it, I've really enjoyed "my show," even the tragic scenes, because they make the happy endings seem that much sweeter. So, I'm gonna kick back and enjoy awaiting the Autumn season, because that's when I first started dating my sweet Spencer, and then a year later I married him on November 27, 2004. Yep, Fall will be good.
I feel so torn between looking forward to Fall and being upset that summer has come and gone so quickly. I absolutely love sunshine! It makes me so happy! I sometimes wonder if I have that seasonal disorder where winter brings on a slight bought of depression because of a lack of contact with sun. I used to get like that in Rexburg, Idaho where sometimes I look back and think it's a wonder I didn't freeze to death. For "therapy" I would go to the tanning bed, and surprisingly, it worked like a charm. Maybe I was just thrilled about my new tan! But Fall brings back so many memories through so many senses and it just warms the soul to think about it: red, orange, yellow, brown, pumpkins, spices, darling autumn decor, jeans, boots, cute sweaters that seem like new because they've been packed away for a few months, fun/scary Halloween stuff, crisp cool air, football games, state fairs, the beginning of a new school year and all the excitement that comes with it (new clothes, new classes, new roommates, new dates, new fun). {sigh} I secretly wish that I was 20 and single again. not that I don't love being married! ...but I had so much fun at BYU-Idaho that I wish I could do it all over again. Instead, I sit here at the age of 25 realizing that those fun, youthful days are slipping through my fingers as the biological timeclock ticks on. Where does life go from here? I realize that I can't always live in my early twenties as a college student, and that we enter into different phases of our life. I guess it just seems like we're stuck in that newlywed phase that we're not even technically in any more. I think after two years you can legitimately claim yourselves no longer newlyweds. So for the past two years we've just been stuck in the middle...We're in between phases. Moving from young adult newlyweds to legitimate married adults... Except for I thought I would have children by this point. I love the song that is currently playing on my playlist. She's saying that she's stuck in the middle and she's trying to figure things out, but that she's just got to "let it go and enjoy the show." But then, if you listen at the end, she starts singing, "I want my money back!" That just cracks me up! I'm sure we all have moments where we feel like that. For the most part, when I stop and think about it, I've really enjoyed "my show," even the tragic scenes, because they make the happy endings seem that much sweeter. So, I'm gonna kick back and enjoy awaiting the Autumn season, because that's when I first started dating my sweet Spencer, and then a year later I married him on November 27, 2004. Yep, Fall will be good.
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Oh I hear you honey! We were stuck in the middle for a long time and it's a little bit weird now to be out! I look back and miss the single days and sometimes the no-kid days too, and then I remember that we're given our specific moments and timelines for a reason and I just need to enjoy each "season" of my life as it comes. Love you hon and love your pic!
ReplyDeleteyou're such a fun writer, I just love reading your blog. Your pictures are great too!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your posts Amy! They always make me smile. And yes, I too wish sometimes that I could still be in college and hanging out all the time. Ahh... the life of being careless and free. I feel like we are "stuck in the middle" right now too. Waiting and hoping Ryan can finish school on time, trying to figure out where we are moving, getting everything set up for a business.... I will be glad when we are just settled somewhere. I love that new song by the way!!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about being stuck in the middle. I thought by this time we'd be more settled than we are and it's easy to get frustrated. I'll be so glad when Thomas graduates in December and we can get on with our lives.
ReplyDeleteI so enjoy reading the lastest happenings with the Bonner's. Tell Spencer that Dad didn't start veggin until he was 50. I'm getting so excited to see the two of you. Hey, I had to speak at Stake Conference last Sunday. I've never had so many people come up to me and thank me or want a copy of my talk. All though my first reponse when asked to speak was NO WAY! I now know that I was used as a vessel to give a message to someone in that crowd.
ReplyDeleteI was going to ask Mr. Pope if we can take a ride on the human slingshot when you're here. I'm going to try and do it October 4th.
LOVE YA :)
YOur post made me kind of wistful. I know what you mean with missing being single, and it's not that we don't love our dear hubbies, we just miss those carefree fun days. I wish I could go back knowing what I know now and just enjoyed time with my roommates and friends instead of stressing about dumb boys the whole time. I love the fall, it's my favorite time of year by far, so I LOVE the picture of you and Spencer for your header, that is so beautiful. I want to learn how to do that! I always get so excited when I see that you made a new post. Thank you for your post, you are such a funny, beautiful, honest, genuinely good person and I feel so blessed to be your friend!
ReplyDeleteStuck in the middle at 25. Try 35! :) I can sympathize- I keep up with some of my young women now at BYU so I can semi- live vicariously!
ReplyDeleteAt least it is mostly sunny in Georgia in the fall! happy first day of Fall, Amy!